GetndCarVC

Nothing like morning humor to start the day!

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. (From Japanese friend): He-lo! This is Sa-to, If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy" message I call sooner!

8. Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

11. Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

13. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything! you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

14. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slow.... So leave a message, and when we get done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

A couple of days ago, Dell offered a coupon code of $750 off a purchase of $1499. This is nearly a 50% off coupon! If you didn't know about it, the rest of America did. The coupon was availabe on 4/13/05 starting 8:00am central time and expires 4/19/05 or when the code is used 10,000 times! Less than an hour after availability, the code expired! Dell's website was flooded with requests by customers looking for a good deal! There was major site congestion bringing their site to a slow crawl. Simply put, Dell knows how to attract customers by offering their mass produced laptops at super low prices. Consumers today are not driven to by through brand loyalty, rather they are driven by low prices and bargains. This major sale is certain to impact every other computer manufacture negatively. A Fujitsu laptop compared to a Dell laptop with similar specs is nearly $800 more! Dell is working to choke out all other competition through brand recognition by flooding the market with Dells. Soon enough, a majority of the computers will be Dells.

If you missed out on this deal, don't fret! Dell offers these codes all the time. I don't recommend buying anything from Dell without a deal. They always have deals, if not as big as this one, that will save you hundreds of dollars. Take the extra money and buy yourself so new clothes!

It was bad enough hearing almost daily that obesity in adults is a growing problem, now our children are the focal point. Yes, moms and dads, the research is in. In a study conducted by Weight Watchers International Inc., and the American Health Foundation, 25% of American children are now officially overweight, and the youngest are especially at risk. The American Dietetic Association (ADA) found that 14% of six to 11 year olds weighed more than they should, as did 12% of 12-17 year olds. In addition, another ADA study suggests the half of obese adolescents will become fat adults.

This is not a passing phase, obesity in children is increasing daily and with the increase comes a slew of health issues – the prevalent ones being diabetes and breathing difficulties.

Karen Miller-Kovach, R.D., chief scientist for Weight Watchers states “lack of exercise accounts for more than 50% of the problem, just 30% of the problem is due to overeating or choosing the wrong types of foods.” Instead, experts point to the same things I have been saying for the past 10 years, cuts in school physical education programs, less time spent outdoors and more time playing video games or sitting in front of the computer or television. Not riding bikes around the neighborhood due to safety issues.

As I mention in Keep Kids Fit, with the cuts in physical education, after school programs and just the general lack of activity by our children you need to be creative about getting your family more active. One way is get the whole family out and about is to take walks after dinner, and if you have a pet, bring him/her along, because sad to say along with obesity in humans, so also go our “furkids”. Have your children do chores, like vacuum, mow the lawn, rake leaves, pick up their room. Have a dance night. Let the kids pick the music (I know you don’t like their music, but think of it this way, our parents didn’t like ours either). Play more physical games, like charades, twister, kick ball, soft ball. I love bowling, have a bowling night with the family or get your children interested in a league. Not only will they be more active, they will make some new friends in the process and learn how to become part of a team effort!

Also, don’t forget, while activity is important so is healthy eating. I know the study said activity was important, but you still have to eat healthy. Fast foods once in a while is one thing, however, making them a habit can be disastrous. Drop the sugar filled fruit juices, and give them water or caffeine free, diet soda (for older children). Have them take their daily vitamin along with a glass of OJ. One thing too many parents tend to do is to fill their kids up with fruit juices that are way too high in sugar. Brew your own ice tea and limit the sugar (use a sugar substitute, like Splenda). Same thing with lemonade, make your own. Get them used to water, it is good for them and fills them up in the process. “The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting 100% fruit juice to 4 to 6 ounces a day for 1 to 6 year olds and to 7 to 12 ounces a day for those ages 7 to 18.

A study reported in the January 2005 issue of Prevention, by Barry M. Popkin, PhD., a professor of nutrition at the University of North Carolina found “Liquid sugar from soda, juice and fruit drinks is the biggest source of sugar consumption”. His study of more than 73,000 children and adults found that between ages 2 and 18, kids drink 135% more calories in sweetened beverages than you probably did as a child.”

Most important is that you don’t make your children uncomfortable. Don’t talk in terms of weight, but in terms of a healthy lifestyle and having more energy. Realize it is going to take time for your children and family to adjust to the new healthy lifestyle you want to put in place. Foremost, if you want to be a good role model, practice what you preach!

Copyright 2005, DeFiore Enterprises

Since the popularization of online communications via forums, email, or instant messenger, internet users have covered their true identities with screen names as a form of protection online. And although this is an important policy for youngsters to abid by, it has unforseen drawbacks. I am in no way advocating replacing your screen name with your real name, but instead just stating overlooked facts. A screen name offers internet users not a protected identity, but instead a whole new identity. There's no need to keep a healthy image online with a screen name, as one may have to indure in daily life. This lack of a necessity of upkeeping a healthy online identity therefore leads many people to trashtalk and say things they would othewise not say. That is polluting our internet, and in turn our minds and souls. Too often I read forums with threads trashed with yelling and cursing (most of which is directed to strangers) at replies that have simple mistakes.

In the future to come, I would hope that internet users begin to see the results of their actions, and take more responsibility for the words inputed online. Or maybe someday, a world-wide online internet standard will be established in which everyone will be given one personal identity, whether it be a numerical value or an alphanumerical name. The internet is a wonderful resource to now only browse, but to interactively get involved with others around the world. Take advantage of the internet responsibily!

Now is the time high school seniors have received their letters of acceptance from various colleges around the United States. It is now up to the student to visit universities of interest to dedicate their next four years to earn a college degree. Large tour groups can be seen roaming the campus as the visit the sites, and tour leaders give them detailed descriptions and reasons as to why to choose a specific school.

College is a major investment for parents, for college tuition can be very costly depending on the school. Money spent for books, tuition, housing, meals, and entertainment bills can quickly add up. Unfortunately, even the easist jobs these days require a college degree, many of which are unattainable for those less fortunate. Luckily, college money is usually available. Just go to your high school counselors to find out what the state can do for you. Money is always available, and that is the beauty of the United States. Don't let money hold you back from your education.

College is not only a place for students to gain education, but even more importantly a place to build a strong community of life long friends. To build better communication skills, more efficient time management, and to mature from teenager to adult. To achieve this seemingly monumentous task, once homework is completed, go out and have some fun! College will be the best years of your life. Make the most of it!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is about a married husband and wife, both of whom lead double lives. They both claim to have normal career paths, but are both secret spy assassins working for different organizations. When their objective goals cross paths, they are forced to kill each other. And the story continues.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is an action packed films with just the right drop of humor. It has a clever unique storyline that always keeps you guessing. A movie that you just go to enjoy without the need of analyzing for the story to make sense. Due to be released in theatres June 10, 2005, it will be an excellent way to end a school year with friends and kick off summer!

Synoposis: A sexy action adventure. John and Jane Smith are an ordinary suburban couple with an ordinary, lifeless suburban marriage. But each of them has a secret: They are legendary assassins working for competing organizations. When the truth comes out, John and Jane end up in each other's cross-hairs.

Offical Website
Mr. and Mrs. Smith Trailer

One of the most interesting entertainment venues in Japan is their style of the American casino. Japan has a variation called Pachinko. Imagine a variation of slot machines and pinball and you've got the game. One basically pays for a bucket of metal balls, which act as tokens for the machine. Place the balls into the machine. The goal is to fire each ball at just the right speed to make it land in special holes that reward with you with more balls. And the vicious cycle repeats over and over. The metal balls can be returned for prizes, or cash out the back door. Pachinko parlors can be recognized by bright lights, loud music, and a thick layer of smoke. For non-smoking Americans, playing Pachinko can be unbearable due to the smoke. However, this game may be either very easy for someone, or very difficult. A friend won $120 (not yen) in one hour his first time playing it while another friend during the same hour lost $20. Not bad for just one hour! So if you ever go to Japan, be sure to check out Pachinko, the Japanese Casino.

Google maps recently began to offer satellite views of any address free of charge. After acquiring Keyhole Corporation, Google has integrated the keyhole system into their pre-existing map system. This allows Google users to visualized the surrounding areas of any particular address, making it easier to find directions. Unfortunately, privacy concerns similar to the services offered by Gmail, have arose concerning the safety of offering satellite views with their maps. Google claims there is no privacy issue problem at all. All maps were generated 6 to 12 months in the past and no one is able to zoom close enough to see people, license plates, or anything of great importance. This new service will be a major threat to MapQuest, the dominate site for looking up directions. So the next time you need to find directions to an address, direct your browser to http://maps.google.com, enter any address (street, city, and zip code) into the search box and click the Satellite link on the top right of the screen to get a satellite view within seconds.

One of the easiest ways of temporarily clearing spyware is to use a free program developed by Lavasoft called Ad-Aware. With the press of a button, Ad-Aware will automatically scan your computer for traces of adaware and remove them free of charge! That's if you get the Personal Edition (free), which I recommend. I do not recommend upgrading with Ad-Aware's $39.95 (effective 4/4/05) Professional version. This Professional version of Ad-Aware for several reasons. The additional features offered are not worth $39.95, for the program availabe through the Personal Edition is the most essential part.

When using Ad-Aware, always remember to upgrade the software's definitions before scanning. This will ensure that Ad-Aware is searching for all possible signs of spyware. To explain why I term Ad-Aware as a temporary solution is because Ad-Aware never seems to completely remove the entire spyware. Often times, stray files are left behind which allow spyware to automatically reinstall itself. To completely remove spyware, it's often times necessary to use the registry, which in itself can be complicated. So try installing Ad-Aware Personal Edition available from download.com for free, and be one step closer to being adware and spyware free!

Learn more about Adware vs. Spyware!

As the world becomes more interconnected through the power of the internet, many aspects of daily life are also changing throughout the globe. One major impact with globalization is that products are available to customers at lower prices. Globalization greatly benefits consumers. Price drops are made possible through the increased outsoucing and/or cheap imports.

Outsourcing defined is "to send out (work, for example) to an outside provider or manufacturer in order to cut costs". Because the main goal of a business is to increase shareholder value, many companies are willing to do anything to achieve their goal. One method of sufficiently cutting costs is to outsource work. For years, American jobs have been slowly outsourced to countries where workers are willing to work for less. Customer support numbers are often routed overseas and programming jobs are slowly being moved to India. And though outsourcing benefits the consumers, the American job market is changing. Workers in those outsourced job positions must find new work or re-train.

Cheap imports also benefit consumers. This form of globalization theoretically also benefits countries as a whole. A country's main goal is to export product specializations while importing all other products. This should increase global output. The main difficulty in properly globalizing is creating a fair trading ground. The World Trade Organization's goal is to level the playing ground. Recently, the 30-year-old global agreement on textile and clothing export limits expired, leading to a 1000% increase in textiles from China. China can offer their products at lower prices which undercut US products. Globalization has tragic short term results, but in the long run will benefit all.